[personal profile] blcwriter

Good things:



  • Space Ohana means Space Family and that means no one gets left behind or forgotten IN SPACE

  • Everyone is hella gay IN SPACE

  • JAYLAH

  • An actual good use of “Sabotage” (NO, REALLY, and that fucking swarm-wave, goddamn)

  • Leonard Badass McCoy hitting my competence kink with the improvised surgical tools and using weapons and flightcraft for his Space Fambly because he is the only one who gets to be mean to the Enterprise Crew

  • Seriously, Leonard McCoy was so “FIGHT ME” and it was great

  • Holy Shit Yorktown Aesthetic TM

  • Jim’s existential crises bookended by Kirk/McCoy fanon bar visits and end-of-day-drinking and Jim’s birthday ugh

  • Chris Pine not falling off shit for once

  • Chris Pine’s acting ugh

  • It will never not be funny to see Chris Pine’s “AUGH” face when aliens start to attack, again and the alien attack here was lulzy in a delightful old-school TOS way

  • When Spock says “Jim”

  • When Spock looks at the TOS Universe Space Fambly picture and everyone in the entire fucking theater SOBBED (the dude next to me asked his seatmate for “a fucking handkerchief, dude”)

  • JAYLAH

  • Uhura’s Competence with a rifle, hand to hand, and the ship’s mechanics

  • Scotty’s relationship with Jaylah because Space Ohana

  • Kirk knowing the ins and outs of his ship and what it, even mostly ruined, was capable of (brb sobbing forever)

  • I am a sucker for starships taking off, or rising out of the water or getting rebuilt or just STARSHIPS ASJKGKJKGJ

  • Sulu the badass gay space dad pilot husband just UGH PUT JOHN CHO IN ALL THE THINGS

  • Scotty wasn’t just comic relief

  • THAT UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR THOUGH EYYYYYY

  • Chekov getting a little badass moment himself

  • Yay Rodenberry philosophy actually getting articulated out loud by main characters, several times

  • Scotty and Chekov technobabbling at each other because SPACE FAMBLY

  • Space seatbelts, on starships, in space

  • Official Starfleet Caffeinated Beverage Merchandise (TM)

  • Jim wasn’t pretty, and was kinda haggard at times, which is nice to see as a depiction of a functionally depressed person

  • Transporter shenanigans (TM)

Meh things:


  • The vice admiral thing seems a wee bit early in the career, even for James T.

  • The regular everyday uniform shirt was just weird, kinda Edwardian or something, just, why?  (But those grey jackets and the exosuits in blue were alright...)

  • Why? Did Krall, just Krall? Didn’t make a lot of sense, or the artifact storyline in general?  Who were the ancients?  How did Krall crash in the first place?

  • Chekov the gigolo is not much better than Kirk the gigolo, and reduced alien ladies to sexual objects for the sake of a joke (even if they were all rolling their eyes at C.) and just, yuck

  • The movie needed to be a half hour longer

  • The swarm was a lotta-bit-of-a-ripoff of the Jupiter Ascending ship aesthetics

  • No space boyfriends in a space shopping montage

  • Uhura’s earrings in the last scene needed more dangle

  • Shirt not ripped enough

  • No Bechdel, Mako Mori, or Furiosa test pass

  • No Janice Rand

  • No Christine Chapel

  • Still Too Many Dicks On The Dance Floor

  • No Enterprise crew kicking the ass of anyone who picks on Jaylah at Space School, and/or Space School Graduation because the party don’t start until the Space Fambly walks in, aka WHERE IS JAYLAH’S SEQUEL

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